Devin December by Kate McMurray

Author:Kate McMurray [McMurray, Kate]
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: gay romance
ISBN: 978-1-62380-790-0
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2015-12-23T05:00:00+00:00

“YOU’RE NOT going to tell me that you never wanted to be famous, right? That you just wanted to act?”

I’d shoved all the crap off my flimsy kitchen table—which was really a card table I’d picked up off the street with a dollar-store tablecloth tossed over it—so now all my magazines and unopened mail were in a heap on the floor, but we had a place to eat lunch.

“No, I want to be famous.” He used chopsticks to lift a small pile of noodles from the plastic container he was eating out of. “Dude, if I just wanted to act, I would have come out a long time ago.”

“All right.”

“I don’t think anyone goes to Hollywood just to act. If I just wanted to act, I could do community theater productions back home. The fame, I don’t know. I wanted that. I wanted to be the guy on movie posters. That’s powerful, you know?”

“I guess it would be.”

“This is going to sound naïve or arrogant.” He ate a piece of tofu. “But I moved to LA expecting everything to just work out. It kind of did. My first audition, I got cast in a small part in Deuces Wild.”

Which I had of course seen, because I lived in the world. Deuces Wild had been a spectacularly successful ensemble adventure about mobsters in Las Vegas that featured basically every big actor at the time. I’d forgotten Devin had even been in that movie, but then I remembered he had a small part as one of the mob lackeys.

“So everything just kept working out. I mean, I didn’t get everything I auditioned for and I waited tables in between gigs, but once I got cast in Southwest and earned bigger paychecks, everything was great.” He sighed and looked at his noodles thoughtfully. “When I first started working, there was no marriage equality, there were no gay leading men. It was conventional wisdom that you couldn’t be gay and also star in big-budget movies. I was up-front with my agent, and he told me repeatedly that no one wanted a gay leading man. I believed it. All these actors who have come out and been successful anyway? They are a lot braver than I am. So now I’m trapped. Hollywood, the public, they all have certain expectations of me.”

I nodded, though I disagreed.

“I won’t deny I love the attention,” he said. “The money certainly doesn’t hurt. But before Thanksgiving, I hadn’t had sex in two years. Can you believe that?”

I gazed at Devin. It was hard to believe. For anyone that sexy to have gone celibate for so long seemed impossible. It was a crime, really. It struck me again that, of all people who would have walked over their mothers to be with him, he’d chosen me. Something else occurred to me, also. “You’ve been with men before, right?”

“Before Teenie, yeah. Not many, but when the opportunity presented itself, I went for it. Let’s just say I’m pretty sure a lot of the closeted actors in Hollywood around my age have slept with each other.

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